Well today was such a beautiful day that is refreshing me. God likes to bless us every so often today was that day. I got to spend time with my family, I am so happy right now. Although it didn't help much on the homework part of my life. I loved it.
As you come out of tough things such as family rough spots, breakups, death, whatever, remember God is going to shine through even the crazy things.
I want to let you know I have had crazy moments that everything seems to blur by. You don't even remember what just happened. You hold on to God, and let go of that thing that seems crazy and God will reward you in the long run. It will work out in awhile. Smile, hold on, God's got it, it's His problem if you just GIVE IT UP!
So I'm trying to think of a circumstance in my life where this has happened, whether it's been divorce between my parent's, separation, secrets that kill, mistakes, the list goes on. I'm telling you until this year I thought I had been through everything, but it may never end, this problem, but if you give it to God, you are free, free indeed. So things will always be hitting you left and right, but if you have God, it's going to work.
I will give you an in depth part to my life that I have let go of now but what it took to get me there. I have a father on earth, a father in heaven, but what I tended to do was work with the one who is here on earth. I thought maybe that when I became an adult after years of not having a healthy relationship with my father. I thought that could change. From being in the middle of my family's problems, to being the social worker for them almost. Finally this year I broke that and set boundaries. I am no longer in the middle of anything but let me tell you doing that set up some affecting of relationships in my life. Some I may not talk to anymore. It's weird, but it's the right thing to do. Let me tell you what is right is good, it may break other things, but it's better to be healthy, let it go, give it to God and let Him take care of the rest.
But my father and I have never been close. My mom, sister, and I are the religious nuts of the family. The whole family. We are the "conservative" ones. My dad does not believe in anything that I know of at this moment. Nor does he live it out. So it's funny. As I got to be 18. At college I was able to state what I thought about things and such. But one thing I have learned is I unconditionally love my father here, but my father in heaven is who I'm living for. I gave up this year pleasing my dad and also understanding my father here is a human, he makes mistakes, just as I do. But I let it go fully as in I'm not going to try to make my dad into something he is not. Because all it's going to do is make me work more and leave me empty handed because my dad has to make a change not me.
It is hard to let go of those things. I know we are living in the so called "Fatherless Generation" I believe that is true. I appreciate the men still being the fathers to their daughters and sons but it is not likely to see.
I think we are not living in a Fatherless generation though. God is showing us His love through these things and He is a better father than even the greatest father on earth. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?
Know God loves you and sustains you through the weakest and strongest moments. It may be hard to understand but that is just it. We need to have faith, trust, and not question. People in the "post modern" GENERATION. Tend to analyze and question every particle of anything truth or not. How is this chair supporting me? What is this music? Cell phone? The clouds in the sky? Somethings we cannot explain but we still believe. Life is full of mystery, freedom to choose, and God made us in such a way. We have to believe in Him not just see Him and accept Him. I mean we don't even do that with people anyways, we might reject Him, who is to know.
What I know and give credit to is God is my father and even though things fail, family issues come, relationships fail, I know that God can make sense of any one of those circumstances.
I can say I am a child of God. He has called me by my name which means a type of pink flower in a rocky area. Which has caused me to think of that. I was born into a hurting family. A family full of rough spots and I'm here to shine God's love by being the woman of God, He has created me to be by following after His will.
I can tell you after these last 21 years of life I have learned a lot about who God wants me to be. But it's still a mystery, I still fail. But right now it is exciting, because I'm living in the freedom of being a child of God. Holding this confidence the world does not have. They live day to day not knowing anything. They live without a purpose. They have a void in their hearts that cannot be filled by whatever it is they are trying to fill it with.
After 21 years of life I have made mistakes in relationships (dating and friends), I have lied, I have done stupid things, but one thing I can tell you now is I DON'T REGRET any of those things because of the freedom I have in God. When you accept Jesus who saved us into your heart, He gives a new way of thinking of mistakes, hurts, and your past as stepping stones, washed away by His grace. I can no longer say I stink, I can never move on or have this false view that I forgive that person but hold it tightly in my control still because I have no where else to put it. I give it all to God. God accepts you and calls you in His own, no matter what sin it is you have committed or the doubt you hold.
Imagine how much God withholds in this earth alone and how much He is rejected. He even sent His son, he died for us, and we still choose to doubt, question. Let me tell you, God has mercy on us. Much grace and mercy on us.
As I let you know when I was 5 years old I accepted God into my heart. Then I can tell you I have never been the same again and would never go back on my choice. It makes the sun shine my way on the most terrible circumstance. I have had suicides within my own family, people I held dear. I have had divorces, fights, separations with my own parents and gotten through that. I have lacked that fatherly role in my life, but I have gotten through that. I don't know if any of you can relate but if you can, know God can change you also and bring you this smile even in the crazy life you may be in. :)
Sincerely,
Heather Cheryl Craig
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