My call in life is still yet to be found, but I know what is here at hand. Everyday I decide whether or not I'm going to take on the things God has placed before me or if I am going to run and hide. Today what I am pursuing is God and I to take on the world together. Here at hand I am doing my best to do all that He has placed before me, not on my own but with Him.
This week for example I had a stress breakdown. Never had this much stress in my life. I was looking at things from a human perspective, taking things negatively, acting like I couldn't handle it. I realized after crying, praying, some hardcore stressful, anxiety filled moments that God is breaking me. He doesn't want to just give us something and not grow. He wants us to grow in Him, and grow in trust. But we all know that takes breaking at moments.
Going into my internship at The Salvation Army homeless shelter has been one of the most challenging new things in my life. Walking into a culture you have been told to run away from, shun from society, and completely ignore. All of a sudden you are driving up, walking through a crowd, and acting like you care. But you cannot act, because people see right through it. The first day I walked in dressing business casual and had my hair up and glasses on. Not because that's what I look like, but to play a new part. Little did I know that would be less effective not for only the homeless men to not be attracted to me, but I wouldn't be myself or present myself in the best manner. So within the next few times going to my internship I realized I needed to dress like myself, be myself and it would help things. So I started to go in as myself and people did not recognize me because I was being the child God made me to be, to shine His light, not hide it away with a mask or character. As I did this I got to know more people, from the men on my floor that I would at some point be helping to my co-workers being friendly and helping me. I realized something my job is going to be amazing. The joy of being at The Salvation Army is I can be my child of God self and pray with clients and listen to Jesus music. Not to mention that in the social work world you will always have and have to recognize you bring yourself, as a tool, into the workforce. It is sweet going into a job knowing that you will be doing the thing God has shown you and you are feeling right and excited about this. I can't say that going into a homeless shelter on a men's floor is not nerve wracking at some points, but I'm getting better, but what I can say is God by my side, and being the child of God He created me to be is the best place to be even if it's breaking pieces of me. He's scraping off the things that hold me back from whatever is next or maybe just what is right around the corner.
Next thing is I am taking 18 credit hours of schooling at my university. It's my last year at North Central University. I am living in the apartments with a great person Erica, my roomie. I am eating microwaveable things and drinking coffee. I am centered on God, get to decorate my apartment, eat my own food, and have my own space, along with responsibility, rent, cable, internet, and electricity. Not to mention grocery shopping. Growing up is fun to say the least.
The next thing is I have a job at The Mall of America that I am starting on Sunday, part time but sure enough it will be a great job. I'm blessed to be getting a job in this economy and I have to think about that, and want to encourage ya'll who hating those jobs right now, that there are tons of people without jobs right now, so go to work, be happy, and ask God for patience!
The next thing is I have great family, sisters, and friends. But it is so spread out like across the states. But I am thankful for all of them. God is showing me to treasure the moment but remember He has an amazing plan that I maybe cannot see yet.
Take joy in the moments daily, don't think ahead, but think about things and look at what God is going to do, the call is ever present, and always calling you, just say yes and enjoy the journey to wherever it is God has in mind :)
Take joy in the moments that are happening and see what God unfolds :)
God often thinks of better ideas than us.
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